The 2013 Kardashian Christmas Card Has Landed!

The 2013 Kardashian family Christmas card, photographed by David LaChapelle.

-The annual horror that is the Kardashian family Christmas card has landed, and this one is even more batshit than usual. Missing from the photo are Scott Disick, Rob Kardashian, Kanye West, Baby North and Lamar Odom. Not missing are a bunch of weird Easter eggs/hidden clues.

–Amy Adams is all kinds of pretty on the cover of Vanity Fair.

-Good on Maria Bello, who came out in an essay she wrote for the New York Times this weekend. (The Hollywood Reporter identifies the woman she’s talking about as new media executive Clare Munn.) Bello also revealed that she nearly died this summer.

–Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan celebrated Thanksgiving together because the universe is wonderful.

–Joe Jonas‘ feature in New York Magazine is a pretty terrifying look into the Disney machine. It’s also pretty dishy. He implies he lost his virginity to Ashley Greene, and adds “The first time I smoked weed was with Demi and Miley. I must have been 17 or 18. They kept saying, Try it! Try it!”

-Speaking of Demi Lovato, she’s also opening up about her troubled past in the new issue of Nylon.

-A new clip from Inside Llewyn Davis is out and looks great (despite the presence of Justin Timberlake. Adam Driver is making up for it.).

-The Paul Walker stuff continues to be incredibly sad. His father released a teary statement, celebrities continue to express their grief on Twitter, EW compiled a great retrospective of his off-camera charity efforts, his Running Scared director penned a Facebook tribute, Jordana Brewster called him “an enormous presence” in her life, and the producers of his upcoming movie The Hours said they’re sticking with plans to release it this month. Also, his Fast and the Furious costar Tyrese Gibson visited the crash site and broke down in tears, which is sad but there’s also an element of like, um, what are you doing?

-Man, it has been way too long since I’ve seen photos of Scott Speedman. So long, in fact, that I’m going to overlook the weird hair thing he’s got going on.

-Oh dear. What’s up with Linda Evangelista’s face?

–The first photos from the set of Fifty Shades of Grey have surfaced. Jamie Dornan is looking predictably fine.

-Another very, very NSFW clip from Lars von Trier‘s Nymphomaniac has landed, this one featuring Charlotte Gainsbourg and Jamie Bell. What are you doing with that whip, Billy Elliot?!

–Lindsay Lohan is reportedly suing over her likeness being used in Grand Theft Auto V.

–Will Ferrell co-anchored an actual newscast in North Dakota this weekend as Ron Burgundy.

-Despite his new movie being three hours (I’m never going to get over that), serious Oscar buzz is building for Leonardo DiCaprio. This is shaping up to be an intense Best Actor race.

–This video about ‘shipping unlikely fictional couples is kind of perfect.

–John Noble returns to Sleepy Hollow tonight. And Victor Garber has just been cast as Crane’s father. Spy Daddy!

-Speaking of good TV, I’m glad everyone’s on the Josh Charles train for this season of The Good Wife. I’ve been a proud ticket holder since Sports Night.

-This news comes from the National Enquirer so take it with a grain of salt, but I hope this story about Miley Cyrus buying dinner for a couple she disturbed at a New York restaurant is true. She could use some good press.

-Speaking of Miley, she’ll be featured on Barbara Walters annual, increasingly irrelevant Most Fascinating People special, along with Kimye and Jennifer Lawrence.

–Kate Moss is doing Playboy again, celebrating the mag’s 60th anniversary with a retro cover.

-A teaser trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 has surfaced…in Spanish.

–Taystee and Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black made a music video!

-Have Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom swapped partners with their best couple friends? (I call that “The Shania Twain.”)

-Here’s a new trailer for Tracks, starring Mia Wasikowska (who got rave reviews for her performance at TIFF). It looks great, but using M83‘s “Outro” is a bit like cheating, no?

Lee Thompson Young Reportedly Shoots Himself

Angie Harmon and Lee Thompson Young in Rizzoli & Isles. (TNT)

-Sad: Rizzoli & Isles star Lee Thompson Young has committed suicide at the age of 29. Stars are already taking to Twitter to react.

-The guy who played Greg on Dharma & Greg just got catfished! Married actor Thomas Gibson was reportedly tricked into sending sexy videos to a woman who sent him photos she stole from a porn site. (Seriously? Who doesn’t know how to do a reverse Google image search at this point?!)

-Following Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton‘s Twitter spat this weekend (in which the singer accused the gossip blogger of stalking her), Perez has responded with a rebuttal and an implication that their falling out is her fault.

-Did Rihanna and A$AP Rocky get closer than necessary on the set of their new video? I fully support this!

-We may be seeing a lot more of Demi Lovato soon. Not only are nekkid photos reportedly floating around the web, she’s also poised to join Glee for a major arc next season.

–Amber Rose tested out her wedding dress by twerking in it. So…yeah. That happened.

-In other embarrassing moments caught on video, Olivia Munn dislocated her shoulder after falling off an indoor swing.

-JJ Abrams is promoting some creepy new project, but we don’t exactly know what. Here are five theories.

–Shailene Woodley cut off all her hair for The Fault In Our Stars. She documented the process on Twitter and donated her locks to charity.

–Oprah‘s interview with Lindsay Lohan aired last night, and she tried to convince us that she’s only tried coke 10-15 times, and the only thing she’s ever injected is B-12 shots. Mmm-hmmm.

–Kim Kardashian and Kanye West had a “normal family dinner” — and then posted video of it for the world to see, which is totes norm.

-Meanwhile, Kim was photographed holding two-month-old baby North West for the first time this weekend but the baby’s head was covered with a blanket, which means there’s probably a magazine cover in that kid’s immediate future.

–Lady Gaga debuted her new “Applause” video on GMA this morning, where she appeared surprisingly nervous.

-A teaser trailer for Girls’ new season has landed.

–Hahahahahaha!

-I stopped watching True Blood a while ago because, well, it’s horrible. But apparently I missed out on Alexander Skarsgard‘s full frontal display in last night’s season finale.

–Here’s a clip of Robin Wright getting flirty with her BFF’s son in Adore. I interviewed the guy in this clip once (Xavier Samuel). All I remember was that he has crazy small hands.

–Mark Ruffalo delivered an awesome pro-choice speech in Mississippi.

-Police in Connecticut  received numerous 911 calls last night because the cable went out just as Breaking Bad was about to start. Ha!

-Breaking Bad’s Walt Jr. and Mad Men’s Glen did a Weird Science spoof for Funny or Die.

-Yikes.  John Mellencamp’s two teen sons were charged with felony battery after allegedly attacking a man.

-Yikes squared. A contractor was found shot dead in Olivia Newton-John‘s house.

-I love Benedict Cumberbatch, but this is kind of douchey.

-The weekend box office was not kind to Ashton Kutcher or Liam Hemsworth. Both of their new movies flopped hard.

-It’s a good day to listen to free music. Neko Case‘s new album is streaming on NPR, and Franz Ferdinand‘s is streaming on CBC.

–Kid President interviewed Beyonce and it was adorable.

Claire Danes Talks Bullying, Acting Dry Spell in Vogue

–Claire Danes not only looks amazing on the new cover of Vogue, she also uses the interview to call out a fellow actress who used to bully her as a teen. She also reveals that she spent the two years before Homeland struggling to land gigs. What kind of monster wouldn’t want to hire Angela Chase?!

-Leave it to Mariah Carey to bedazzle her sling.

-Vancouver police say that they’re trying to expedite Cory Monteith’s autopsy results, but it will still take a few days.  Meanwhile (in what is no doubt a testament to how nice he always was to the press), media coverage of his death has remained mostly respectful, with a big focus on his philanthropy. Before his sudden passing, he was working closely with the Project Limelight Society. If you would like to honour his memory, donations can be made  on their website. (Hit the “donate” button at the top right to quickly do it through PayPal.)

-Everyone’s wondering how Glee is going to handle this. If the show has to continue, I don’t mind the idea of a flash-forward and an entire relocation to NYC.

-After all the terrible, terrible news over the weekend, the royal baby just needs to hurry up and get here already. David Beckham is even offering to help William and Kate along with some solid naming advice.

-No one seemed to Tweet nice things about The Newsroom‘s season premiere last night — except for the journalists who were paid to.

-Meanwhile, EW just posted the best quiz ever: “Who Said It: A Dumb & Dumber Guy or a woman on The Newsroom?”

-I can’t stop looking at the photos of celebrities at Jimmy Kimmel‘s weekend wedding. I just wish there was a front-on photo of Emily Blunt‘s adorable-from-the-back pink and yellow dress. Also, I’m loving that Kristen Bell still looks like someone who just gave birth and not like one of those alien actresses who immediately slim down to their pre-baby bod.

-Oh, and it appears that Gabby Sidibe arrived in a wedding dress. Part of some Kimmel-approved prank, perhaps?

-This is awesome: a couple who were driving to a Dave Matthews concert stopped to pick up a hitch-hiker…who turned out to be Dave Matthews.

-It was a big publicity-garnering weekend for Jenny McCarthy. Not only did she land a new boyfriend, but she also landed a cohost spot on The View.

–Carly Rae Jepsen throws like me. Which is to say, terribly.

–Kristen Stewart sat next to Michael Pitt once so now everyone assumes they’re dating (even though, last I heard, he was engaged to Jamie Bochert). #MinorDetail

-Is it possible that Justin Timberlake (or anyone on his team) really had never heard the phrase “Take Back the Night” before? Really?

–Arrow’s Stephen Amell posted a photo of himself from hiatus that seemed to suggest he’d gotten chubby. I don’t see it.

–Benedict Cumberbatch is wearing jorts (or are these japris?). Either way, it’s amazing.

-This is a long (loooonnnnggg) article on Jay-Z’s business acumen, but definitely worth a read. He’s giving 50 Cent a run for his money when it comes to, well, money.

-Meanwhile, Beyonce posted an adorable new holiday photo with Blue Ivy.

–Courteney Cox‘s face has looked jacked for a while, but this is crazy.

-I’m not sure why Demi Lovato spent a day working for Buzzfeed, but she did. Here’s the fruits of her labour.

-Someone may have been creeping on Kim Kardashian‘s medical records. Cedars-Sinai has fired six staff members for privacy breaches.

-I had no idea that Louis CK was in the new Woody Allen movie. And this clip makes it look like an extended episode of Louis. Awesome!

-I don’t watch Big Brother, but seriously, why are those people allowed on TV? These clips make them seem like terrible, terrible people.

-Not only are we getting a Veronica Mars movie, we’re also getting two new books, which will pick up where the film leaves off.

-The latest trailer for Jobs just debuted on Instagram which is, um, new.

-Speaking of trailers, the first one for Christian Bale‘s Out of the Furnace looks intense!

Amanda Seyfried Only Dates Guys She’s Instantly Attracted To

–Amanda Seyfried talks about listening to her vagina in the new issue of Elle. Her vagina should have told her to rethink those heart-emblazoned granny panties she wears in the photo spread.

-I don’t hate the idea of Ben Affleck playing the male lead in the Gone Girl adaptation, particularly if Emily Blunt or Natalie Portman lands the Amy role. I’m not really feeling the Charlize Theron rumour, though.

–Bill Clinton talked with Justin Bieber on the phone yesterday and forgave the pop star for cursing him out while urinating in public. It’s not like he hasn’t done worse.

-Meanwhile, Justin Bieber‘s BFF Lil Twist has been arrested for a DUI (in Bieb’s car, no less).

-Word is longtime Scientology supporter Leah Remini has quit the “church” after suffering through “years of interrogations” for daring to ask leader David Miscavige about his wife. The nerve!

-Hey girl, Ryan Gosling just wrote an editorial in the Globe & Mail about improving the treatment of farm animals.

-Uh oh. Now Amanda Bynes is dragging her tiny dog into the storm of crazy.

-I don’t know why Cosmo has a column called “Ladyboner of the Day,” but since today’s featured LBK is Joshua Jackson, I’m choosing not to complain.

-I cut Anne Hathaway a lot of slack when it comes to her ridiculous hats, but these gigantic pants will not stand!

-I’m kind of fascinated by all the accounts of Jay-Z’s art project, (especially the Vines of him dancing with Marina Abramovic).

–Matt Damon: still a nice guy.

–Charlie Sheen flew to Scotland to try to find the Loch Ness monster, which is as elusive as Sheen’s sanity.

–Sam Mendes and Daniel Craig will officially return for the next Bond film. And then can it be Idris Elba‘s turn? Please??

–Demi Lovato created a new scholarship fund in the memory of her late father, who suffered from mental illness.

–Salma Hayek tried (and succeeded!) to make her way through the “The Star-Spangled Banner” on Letterman last night.

–These girls reworked Alanis Morissette‘s “Ironic” so that it’s actually ironic. Amazing.

–This week’s GOOP is even more riddled with mistakes than usual. Did she really spell MacGyver as Magiver?!?

–EW has our first look at Jamie Foxx as Electro in the upcoming Spider-Man movie. Though to be honest, I prefer the inside cover image with Orphan Black‘s Tatiana Maslany.

–Kanye West isn’t thrilled that Kris Jenner is already pimping out baby North. That’s his job!

-Remember when Damon Wayans Jr. played Coach on the first episode of New Girl and then jumped ship to star in Happy Endings? Now that ABC cancelled that show, he’s poised to rejoin NG for a significant Season 3 arc.

-I love that this guy’s plea for a Toronto roommate has gone viral.

–Friday Night Lights’ Matt Lauria is officially sticking around for the next season of Parenthood.

–Two new clips and a featurette from the upcoming Wolverine movie have landed. Stabby!

-Meanwhile, this new Pacific Rim featurette has 10 minutes of exclusive behind-the-scenes footage. How can this movie still be tracking way behind Grown-Ups 2?!

-This might be the best news ever! Kristen Bell has just signed on to play a “snooty City Councilwoman from Eagleton” on the upcoming season of Parks & Recreation. Her character will be “Leslie’s equivalent, but richer and better dressed.”

–Jake Gyllenhaal has gotten to the “walking her dog” stage of his new relationship with Sports Illustrated model Alyssa Miller.

-The poster for Project Runway‘s upcoming season was deemed too nekkid for Los Angeles.

-Here’s the first sappy trailer for Saving Mr. Banks, in which Tom Hank plays Walt Disney.

Drake Talks about Rihanna, Chris Brown in GQ

-In the new issue of GQ, Drake talks about Chris Brown, saying “I don’t want my name to be synonymous with that guy’s name. I really don’t.” Word.

-Meanwhile, there is a very sketchy report about Rihanna going to treatment for sex addiction to get over Chris Brown. Doubtful, but a lovely thought.

-In other Rihanna news, a trespasser was arrested lurking around her house last night.

-I actually don’t hate the fact that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West called their new daughter Kaidence, but that might be because I initially read a false report that they named her Khrist and I totally believed it.

-Meanwhile, Kim‘s friend Brittny Gastineau says “the baby is beyond beautiful.”

–Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth were pictured together for the first time in five months last night.

-Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus wants everyone to know she’s a stoner — but doesn’t want to actually say “I’m a stoner.”

–Howard Stern was kind of a jerk to Jimmy Fallon last night about the latter’s ability to host The Tonight Show, but being a jerk to Fallon is the talk show equivalent of kicking a puppy. I’d much rather watch Russell Brand’s take-down of some insipid MSNBC hosts.  I’m going to try to work “Thank you for your casual objectification” into everything.

-Speaking of take-downs, Katy Perry does a fine job herself when talking about Russell in the new issue of Vogue, revealing that she learned of his plans to file for divorce from a text.

–Dan Harmon has apologized for crapping all over Community’s last season. More importantly, he’s apologized for comparing watching the most recent episodes to “being held down and watching your family get raped on a beach.” Can we just retire the “rape” hyperbole that guys keep throwing around once and for all?

-Cool: Defamer is streaming the premiere of Ray Donovan, a new TV show that is getting crazy good buzz.

–Demi Lovato combined a nap with a manicure while in Toronto for the MMVAs. She might actually be a genius.

-The fate of Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s show The Client List is reportedly in the air because her pregnancy is causing lots of backstage drama. She wants it to be written into the show (with her real baby daddy playing her fictional one), while the showrunner is pushing for the guy who plays her brother-in-law to be the main love interest. If only the show were this interesting.

–Hugh Jackman is the rare celebrity who seems to realize that it takes more time and energy to be a jerk than to just treat everyone like a human being.

-Wait, so now James Franco is trying to Kickstart a project?! The profits are going to charity which is all well and good, but word is that he got paid $7 million for Oz.

–Melissa Etheridge said some stupid shit about Angelina Jolie‘s double mastectomy being a “fearful choice.” Her and Brad Pitt used to be really tight, so he deflected the question when asked about it.

–Lil Wayne says that video of him sleeping on an American flag that everyone’s so upset about was actually just a camera trick and he didn’t really do it. So there?

–Amanda Bynes and Wyclef Jean are discussing a potential collaboration. Uh oh.

-After initial denials, Nigella Lawson’s husband Charles Saatchi has admitted to assaulting his wife and accepted a police citation.

–Justin Bieber has been cleared of accusations that he hit a photographer with his car.

–John Mayer got the Prancercise lady to prancercise in his lyric video for his new song, which is totally about Taylor Swift.

–Robert Pattinson gets to mack on a model in his new Dior campaign.

-More proof that Henry Cavill is awesome: he used to walk this woman‘s dog.

–Johnny Depp opens up about his personal life, including his split from Vanessa Paradis and his issues with drinking, in the new issue of Rolling Stone. (It’s adorable that he thinks TMZ is called TLC!)

-His Lone Ranger costar Armie Hammer is also getting in on the overshare action, talking about his “dominant sexual appetite.”

-Here’s our first peek at Matt Damon in Terry Gilliam’s The Zero Theorem.

-In other movie news, the Veronica Mars film started shooting this week.

-I really hope this Scientology documentary airs in North America.

-The new trailer for I Give It a Year is out — looks kind of hilarious.

-I’m also digging the trailer for Touchy Feely, in which Rosemarie DeWitt plays a massage therapist who hates touching people and Ellen Page plays her niece.

Diane Lane and Josh Brolin Are Getting Divorced

–Diane Lane and Josh Brolin‘s (sometimes volatile) eight-year marriage is over, which may explain a lot of blind items that have been floating around lately (not to mention those whispers about the nature of their relationship that have been circulating for a while.)

–Prince Harry and his girlfriend Cressida Bona were photographed enjoying a ski vacation. He certainly has a type, no?

-Speaking of romantic vacations, Rihanna celebrated her 25th birthday with Chris Brown in Hawaii.

-Meanwhile, do you want to see a topless Rihanna and Kate Moss draped over each other? Of course you do.

–Mila Kunis is reportedly moving into Ashton Kutcher’s Hollywood Hills mansion, making it even harder to pass off their entire relationship as a fever dream. I’m gonna keep trying, though!

-Those “creative differences” that caused Shia LaBeouf to drop out of a Broadway play ended up being based on a beef (a LaBeouf?) with Alec Baldwin. Yesterday, Shia publicly released transcripts of his e-mail apologies to Baldwin and Tom Sturridge, which is a douchey move. Even more douchey? His apology emails were actually lifted straight from Esquire. The only silver lining in this entire story is that it gives us a glimpse into Alec Baldwin‘s email etiquette, which is righteously awesome. “I don’t have an unkind word to say about you. You have my word.” It’s like it was written by Jack Donaghy himself!

-Meanwhile, Ben Foster will replace Shia in the play.

–Will Arnett is the latest star to jump ship on Up All Night. He’s already accepted a role in an untitled comedy pilot for CBS.

-Speaking of NBC shows that aren’t coming back, Smash’s Jack Davenport has signed on for a new gig.

-The upside of NBC’s total ratings freefall? Shows are usually on the bubble this time of year like Parks and Recreation and Parenthood are pretty much a lock for renewal because the network has nothing else. But Parks creator Mike Schur says he didn’t know that when they wrote tonight’s wedding episode, which is why it feels like a series ender. (If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t watch both of tonight’s new eps back-to-back. The first 1/2 hour is perfect and should stand alone. Save ep 2 — directed by Ron ‘Effing Swanson! — for the upcoming stretch of repeats.)

–Kelly Osbourne might be a bit wobbly on the red carpet Sunday night. She sprained her ankle trying to avoid falling into a public toilet, which is as good excuse as any.

-Speaking of the Oscars, the MSN crew let me crash their Oscar prediction podcast. Listen to it here.

-In a new twist, this year’s Oscars will not conclude with the Best Picture announcement. Instead, we’re getting a closing musical number.

-How does it feel when your ex is nominated for an Oscar? The ex-girlfriend of a producer on Beasts of the Southern Wild wants to tell you all about it.

-Meanwhile, in a last-minute attempt to sway Oscar voters, Hugh Jackman dressed as Lincoln on Letterman last night.

-A judge shut down Jason Patric‘s bid for custody of his son, which is not that interesting. What is interesting is how that son came to be: When Jason broke up with his girlfriend he told her he wouldn’t give her any money but would give her his sperm for artificial insemination.

–The Americans just got renewed for a second season.

–Taylor Swift had a grand ol’ time at the Brits after party, dancing with Frank Ocean and Carey Mulligan.

–Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama spent Valentine’s Day together. Is that still happening?!

-I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks Justin Timberlake is sleepwalking through his comeback performances.

-I love this career retrospective with Linda Cardellini, in which she reflects on Freaks & Geeks, ER and more.

–Nick Cave will do a Twitter Q&A with fans, but don’t expect him to like it.

-Congrats to Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose, who just welcomed a baby boy named Sebastian “The Bash” Taylor Thomaz.

-Last week’s haunted house episode had glimmers of hope so I don’t think Community’s season 4 has become “unbearably sad” just yet, but apparently the next two eps are pretty abysmal.

–Seth Rogen guest-stars on The Mindy Project next week. Here’s a clip.

Evan Rachel Wood & Jamie Bell Are Expecting

Evan Rachel Wood and Jamie Bell in Wake Me Up When September Ends.

–Evan Rachel Wood not only confirmed (finally) that she’s married to Jamie Bell, but she also announced that she’s expecting his baby.

-News that doesn’t suck: Beyonce is working with Justin Timberlake and Pharrell on her new album.

-Meanwhile, Beyonce’s GQ interview is, um, less than awesome.

-Has Jennifer Lawrence‘s streak of awesomeness come to an end? She reportedly split from Nicolas Hoult.

-It took me a while but I finally got around to reading yesterday’s New York Times piece “Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie” – and it’s both amazing and not surprising all at once.

–Demi Lovato just revealed that she’s been living at a sober house.

–The Carrie Diaries gets Carrie Bradshaw’s backstory wrong, but I’ve seen the first episode and was charmed enough to let it slide.

-Awesome interview with Lena Dunham: “I’ve basically kept anything any male has ever given me. Just because someday I want to have evidence to show my children that I was a real Jezebel.”

-The Critic’s Choice were pretty boring last night, but I did love Marion Cotillard’s dress. And these photos of Emily Blunt sitting in John Krasinski’s lap.

-Speaking of the Critic’s Choice Awards, what the what was Famke Janssen wearing?!

-Holy crap, George Clooney and David O. Russell were photographed being civil!

-Did Britney Spears leave The X Factor so she could start a residency in Vegas? That can’t end well.

–Tina Fey is the latest celebrity to spend 7 Minutes in Heaven with Mike O’Brien.

-Speaking of Tina, this week’s 30 Rock goes down in the history books as one of the show’s best eps ever.

-Also, here’s the definite history of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s BFF-ship.

–The Vampire Diaries is planning a spinoff based on the originals, which I’m not sure I approve of.

-Why did it take so long for me to start following Rebel Wilson on Twitter?!

-Speaking of Twitter, Taylor Swift just used it to imply that she was recording a breakup song about Harry Styles (as if there was any doubt).

–Lady Gaga is clearly not a fan of Kelly Osbourne.

–Quentin Tarantino really, really doesn’t want to answer questions about violence in movies.

–Chris Pratt’s behind-the-scenes videos of Parks and Recreation are all kinds of great.

–Seth McFarlane‘s first Oscar promos are out. I feel like I’m turning into a Seth apologist but his nomination shtick with Emma Stone was funny!