-Congrats to John Krasinski and Emily Blunt. The Office actor shared the news on Twitter Saturday morning: “Wanted to let the news out directly. Emily and I are so incredibly happy to welcome our daughter Hazel into the world today!” (I love the name.)
-In other baby news, Canadian singer Lights also had a baby girl on Saturday and named her, um, Rocket Wild.
–Ellen Page came out on Friday in a very brave and emotional speech, and E!Online quickly pulled the article about her that she referenced, in which they said she “insisted on dressing like a massive man.” Page has since returned to the set of X-Men in Montreal.
-I’m not going to lie: it’s a holiday here and I’ve already checked by mailbox twice to see if my Veronica Mars issue of EW has arrived yet. Does Canada Post deliver on stats or am I going to have to run to the newsstand and buy it? Because between the movie tickets already going on sale, and the building buzz, I don’t think I can wait.
-Orange is the New Black’s second season will begin June 6. Here’s a very short teaser.
–Katy Perry instagramed a snuggly photo of her celebrating the 4th of July with John Mayer (who apparently is reallyinto headscarvesnow). So that’s still happening.
-Looks like Happy Endings star Eliza Coupe‘s marriage isn’t getting a happy ending. Her husband has filed for divorce.
-Speaking of Happy Endings, one of the writers tweeted some of the show’s rejected jokes and they’re totally boss.
–Idris Elba looked fine at the Pacific Rim premiere last night. I usually have a pretty low tolerance for shiny suits on men, but I’m pretty sure he could wear a tutu made of old banana peels and I’d still drool.
–Mick Jagger‘s ex-girlfriend is auctioning off his hair for charity. Because keeping locks of your ex-boyfriend’s hair is totally something normal people do.
-Everything’s coming up Seth Meyers this summer. Not only did he land Fallon‘s gig, he also got engaged. (Sadly, it isn’t to Stefon.)
-I really like this Vulture article about how The Lone Ranger represents everything that’s wrong with the Hollywood blockbuster. (The only thing I’d add — even though it doesn’t relate to TLR — is the terrorism porn trend. I’m so sick of seeing skyscrapers blow up as if it ain’t no thing. Star Trek and Man of Steel were exhausting because of that.)
–Bill Cosby is hosting a contest where he’s asking fans to pick his favourite sweater. My brain just exploded.
–George Clooney and Stacy Keibler remain mum on their relationship status (though he was quick to squash breakup rumours in May). But he spent the US holiday in Italy. From the looks of her Twitter, she spent it in Malibu. Hmmm…
–Reese Witherspoon, meanwhile, spent the 4th on a beach wearing a cute tankini (two words I previously thought couldn’t go together).
–Lindsay Lohan celebrated her birthday by talking smack about I Know Who Killed Me.
–50 Cent doesn’t seem too fussed about those pesky domestic assault charges, judging by the new photos he posted on Instagram.
–Armie Hammer and his wife get cozy on the cover of Town & Country, where he says he had to talk her into marrying him.
–Tom Cruise was spotted with his arm around a blonde so now everyone’s speculating that he has a new girlfriend, but that can’t be right. According to IMDB, he doesn’t have a new movie to promote until next year. (Update: she’s a publicist. Of course.)
–Full House star Jodie Sweetin just split from her third husband. If it makes her feel better, there’s a viral video floating around of her FH character dancing to Juicy J’s “Bandz A Make Her Dance” today.
-Author Anne Rice stood up for Paula Deenin a Facebook post, in which she called the racist chef a “victim of a lynch mob.” Ugh. (Though this should come as no surprise to anyone who remembers Rice‘s batshit rant against negative Amazon reviews.)
–Rosario Dawson gets a Skrillex cut and still manages to look amazing.
-Even though Chris Brown‘s history of abuse against women is well-documented, the owner of the club the singer was at Saturday night insists Brown didn’t push that girl.
-Meanwhile, Chris is facing criminal charges for his alleged involvement in a fender-bender last month.
–Leam Neeson is reportedly going to get…wait for it!…$20 million for Taken 3.
–Channing Tatum was on GMA this morning and I kept wanting to reach into my television and shave off that douchey goatee. But otherwise, he was charming and sweet and totally sleep-deprived, talking about how fatherhood has suddenly made him excited about poop. He’s also said that they chose to release a baby photo themselves so there wouldn’t be a paparazzi price on the kid’s head.
-There are also some new photos of Paul Giamattimaking crazy faces on the set of The Amazing Spider-Man 2.
–Michelle Trachtenberg is holding a baby in the new still from Killing Kennedy, which reminds me of my favourite Gossip Girl blooperof all time.
-Here’s a rundown of the moving speechAngelina Jolie gave to the UN Security Council yesterday about war-zone rape.
–Under the Domedebuted huge last night with 13.14 million viewers, making it the most-watched summer premiere on any network since 2007. Go, Dean Norris!
-Speaking of Breaking Bad cast members, AMC just released a poster for its final season. So I guess I need to give up the dream that Walt is going to transform back into a milquetoast teddy bear, huh?
–Justin Bieber continues to build a one-man case for why adding video to Instagram is a bad idea. He and his manager posted a lip-synch to “I Will Always Love You.”
-He also got his smooch on with a Vegas waitress. I’m surprised he didn’t Instagram it.
-Meanwhile, Justin and his crew were banned from an indoor skydiving facility (wait, is that a thing? I want to go!), for agreeing to post a photo at the club to his Instagram in exchange for a free visit, and then reneging. Also, his gang were “disrespectful” and did dreadful things such as “made a mess around the sink, then threw his paper towel on the ground while directly looking at an employee.” The horror!
-Speaking of Justin, Bill Hader was on the Howard Stern Show this week and talked about the Biebz‘s ridiculous entourage when he hosted SNL. He also called one of his cut sketches with Justin “the greatest trainwreck ever.”
-Despite reports, this baby is a rando and not actually Kanye West and Kim Kardashian‘s spawn. Lucky kid.
-Also, Kanye says that he’s the creative director of the upcoming movie adaptation of The Jetsons. Wait, what?
-I’m digging EW’s new “Likability Index,” even though it’s basically a rip-off of NY Mag’s Approval Index, but just for TV characters.
-New photos from the set of Walking Dead hint that Rick is about to face the same dilemma as his comic book character. (Spoilery!)
-This is what Christie Brinkley looks like in a swimsuit at 59. I’m giving up on life.
–MIA debuted a new video today, which Mindy Kallingjust called “the platonic ideal of what I want my lifestyle to look like.” I totally get that.
-Well, this is brilliant marketing: Jason Priestley is helping Tim Hortons judge their new doughnut contest.
–Gillian Anderson‘s new British series The Fall is coming to Bravo July 7, which is awesome. It debuted on Netflix around the same time as Arrested Development but got lost in the shuffle. Everything I’ve read about it from critics was positive, plus it’s only 5 episodes — which is about all the commitment I can handle right now.
–Rihanna says the reporter who called her a “toxic role model” is just bitter.
–Katy Perry and John Mayer were photographed together again in NYC — this time holding hands.
-The season premiere of Drunk History features Adam Scott as John Wilkes Booth, Bob Odenkirk as Richard Nixon, Jack Black as Elvis, and Dave Grohl as one of Elvis’s entourage.
-I enjoyed this takedown of Stephan Jenkins from Third Eye Blind way too much. “He’s just a net negative person.”
-Is Miley Cyrus using Twitter to shame her father into admitting an affair?
–Lionel Richie has been reduced to starring in beer ads. At least it’s funny.
-Aw crap. Paramount is already thinking of making a World War Z sequel. This wouldn’t be so bad if the movie had actually stuck with its original ending. (Spoilery!)
–Idris Elba was on Letterman last night and fj%od#*oijw##eej…sorry, my keyboard just got gummed up by drool.
-Meanwhile a new, Idris-heavy trailer for Pacific Rimhas landed. I’m really worried about this thing bombing, especially now that World War Z didn’t do as badly as expected. If people are only going to go to one apocalypse movie per summer, most already picked the wrong one.
-I actually don’t hate the fact that Kim Kardashian and Kanye Westcalled their new daughter Kaidence, but that might be because I initially read a false report that they named her Khrist and I totally believed it.
–Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth were pictured together for the first time in five months last night.
-Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus wants everyone to know she’s a stoner — but doesn’t want to actually say “I’m a stoner.”
–Howard Stern was kind of a jerk to Jimmy Fallon last night about the latter’s ability to host The Tonight Show, but being a jerk to Fallon is the talk show equivalent of kicking a puppy. I’d much rather watch Russell Brand’s take-down of some insipid MSNBC hosts. I’m going to try to work “Thank you for your casual objectification” into everything.
-Speaking of take-downs, Katy Perry does a fine job herself when talking about Russell in the new issue of Vogue, revealing that she learned of his plans to file for divorce from a text.
–Dan Harmonhas apologized for crapping all over Community’s last season. More importantly, he’s apologized for comparing watching the most recent episodes to “being held down and watching your family get raped on a beach.” Can we just retire the “rape” hyperbole that guys keep throwing around once and for all?
-Cool: Defamer is streaming the premiere of Ray Donovan, a new TV show that is getting crazy good buzz.
–Demi Lovato combined a nap with a manicure while in Toronto for the MMVAs. She might actually be a genius.
-The fate of Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s show The Client List is reportedly in the air because her pregnancy is causing lots of backstage drama. She wants it to be written into the show (with her real baby daddy playing her fictional one), while the showrunner is pushing for the guy who plays her brother-in-law to be the main love interest. If only the show were this interesting.
–Hugh Jackman is the rare celebrity who seems to realize that it takes more time and energy to be a jerk than to just treat everyone like a human being.
-Wait, so now James Franco is trying to Kickstart a project?! The profits are going to charity which is all well and good, but word is that he got paid $7 million for Oz.
–Melissa Etheridge said some stupid shit about Angelina Jolie‘s double mastectomy being a “fearful choice.” Her and Brad Pitt used to be really tight, so he deflected the question when asked about it.
–Lil Wayne says that video of him sleeping on an American flag that everyone’s so upset about was actually just a camera trick and he didn’t really do it. So there?
-More proof that Henry Cavill is awesome: he used to walk this woman‘s dog.
–Johnny Deppopens up about his personal life, including his split from Vanessa Paradis and his issues with drinking, in the new issue of Rolling Stone. (It’s adorable that he thinks TMZ is called TLC!)
-His Lone Ranger costar Armie Hammer is also getting in on the overshare action, talking about his “dominant sexual appetite.”
-Here’s our first peek at Matt Damon in Terry Gilliam’s The Zero Theorem.
-In other movie news, the Veronica Mars film started shooting this week.
-The new trailer for I Give It a Year is out — looks kind of hilarious.
-I’m also digging the trailer for Touchy Feely, in which Rosemarie DeWitt plays a massage therapist who hates touching people and Ellen Page plays her niece.
–Melissa McCarthy is the latest victim of a Photoshop fail (again!), with her face apparently slimmed down and blurred for The Heat‘s UK poster. To be fair, the US poster is terrible as well, but at least Sandra Bullock also gets her share of air-brushing.
–George Clooney recently joked about having a cosmetic procedure called “ball ironing” and now it’s actually a thingin L.A. spas. Lord, beer me strength.
–Chris Brown may have to redo his community service because he didn’t properly complete it the first time around. And also because of karma.
–Russell Brand told David Letterman he once became a mailman because he thought it would lead to lots of morning sex with housewives. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work out that way.
-Sources insist that Ellen Page and Alexander Skarsgardare just friends, meaning that the world makes sense once again.
-I keep forgetting that Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Jason Stathamare a thing. Maybe because separately they’re both kind of forgettable.
-See? This is the Justin Bieber we all know and love — the kid who thinks a boys’ night out should involve a trip to Disneyland. Show us more of that guy, JB.
-Aw crap. M. Night Shyamalan just revealed that he ghost-wrote She’s All That, which is one of my favourite ’90s movies. I seriously don’t know how to process this.
-I have no idea why Lauren Conrad still has the power to command magazine covers, but at least she looks great on Marie Claire.
–Kanye West just confirmed his new record will featureDaft Punk, Chief Keef, and Bon Iver, which makes me look forward to it, which then makes me hate myself.
-My opinion of Amy Adams‘ Man of Steelpremiere dress changes with every photo I see of it.
-Both Man of Steel and The Purge are already getting sequels because Hollywood loves to beat dead horses, even if said horses have barely hit theatres.
-Speaking of movies getting good reviews, This Is The End is (somewhat surprisingly) sitting pretty with 80% on RottenTomatoes.
-Meanwhile, the guys from This Is The End made a Real World spoof. Jay Baruchel FTW!
-The guy who plays Robb Stark on Game of Thronesrode the subway looking really dejected, which means he’d get along swimmingly with the GoT fandom right now.
–Paris Jackson is expected to be released from the hospital by Friday because her family wants her to attend her cousin’s weekend wedding and, you know, PRIORITIES!
–Seth Green wants to play Hans Solo in this Star Wars spoof.
-The new trailer for The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug has landed. We get glimpses of Lost‘s Evangeline Lily, Pushing Daisies‘ Lee Pace, returning character Orlando Bloom, and a whole bunch of other people I just can’t quite bring myself to care about.
–Miley Cyrus continued her twerking tour when Wiz Khalifa brought her up on stage during Juicy J‘s House of Blues show on Saturday. I feel dirty just watching this video of it.
-I’m guessing Katy Perry and Kristen Stewart‘s friendship has taken a turn now that Katy keeps hanging out with Robert Pattinson. The pair were spotted together at a Bjork concert on Saturday night.
-Sadness: Glee star Jane Lynch and her wife Lara Embry are getting a divorce after three years of marriage.
-Brace yourself to feel really old: Johnny Deppturned 50 today.
-It’s a trailer for the new season of Luther. Yay!
-Congrats to Arrow star Stephen Amell and his new wife, who are expecting their first child.
-Awesomeness: Jake Gyllenhaaldressed as The Dude to honour The Big Lebowski at the Guys Choice Awards.
-The Austin TV Festival happened this weekend and during the Friday Night Lights panel, Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler made a surprise appearance and everyone died from happiness overload.
-Guys, Shia LaBeouftried to warn us about the NSA spy programs back in 2008 because he knows all!
-Meanwhile, The Wire creator David Simon, who knows a thing or two about phone tapping, wrote a pretty great blog post about the NSA’s use of telephone records.
–Justin Bieberis being sued for allegedly siccing his armed bodyguards on a photographer…again.
-Meanwhile, he Instagrammed a photo of a bra that was tossed on stage at him.
–John Malkovichcame to the aid of a guy who was hurt on a Toronto sidewalk. Take that, Ryan Gosling!
Christina Applegate and Will Arnett in Up All Night. (Photo: Colleen Hayes/ NBCUniversal)
-Whoa! Christina Applegatejust bailed onUp All Night because “the show has taken a different creative direction.”
-In another sign that NBC is in trouble (read just how much here), even Community‘s ratings were better than Smash’s.
-In other NBC sitcom news, I loved this article about how The Office keeps trying to shove an “emotional Poochie” between Jim and Pam. “Watching John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer attempt to integrate this nonsense into their well-drawn fictional lives had all the charm of a hostage video.”
-Is the pressure of SNL getting to Justin Bieber? He vomited during rehearsals.
–Amanda Bynestweeted (and then quickly deleted) about Jay-Z’s “ugly face.” Girl, you in trouble!
-More proof that John Mayer and Allison Williams are just friends: Katy Perry is taking Allison to the Grammys this weekend.
–Kanye West just pulled a Beyonce and demanded every photo of him wearing a leather skirt be deleted.
-Speaking of Twilight, Kristen Stewart just landed a new movie role alongside Elizabeth Banks and Jim Sturgess.
-I really like David Walton. He was great in the little-seen Bent and has been awesome on New Girl, so I fully support him leading the new About a Boy sitcom. (It’s being created from the guy behind Roswell, Parenthood and Friday Night Lights, so that’s also a plus.)
-In other TV news, Vince Gilligan will write and directBreaking Bad‘s finale.
–Steven Tyler is proposing a new anti-paparazzi Senate bill.
–James Cromwell was arrested for protesting on behalf of PETA. That’ll do, animal haters. That’ll do.
–Britney Spearsposted a photo of her new puppy, but I’m too focused on the interior of her house to focus on the fluffball.
-Meanwhile, Caesars is attempting to recruit Britney for a Vegas residency after all.
–Ellen Page is set to make her directorial debut with Miss Stevens, starring Anna Faris.
-PSA alert: you’ll probably need to know what the “Harlem Shake” is.
–Jennifer Lawrence has landed in London for the BAFTAs (which is the same night as the Grammys. Expect to be scrolling through a lot of red carpet galleries Monday morning.)
-The trailer for Justin Long‘s new indie Lumpyhas landed.
–Beyonce may have killed it today (sans earpiece!) and Kelly Clarksonwas great too, but not everything went smoothly at Obama‘s inauguration. Lupe Fiasco was rushed off the stage after going on a bit of an anti-Obama tirade. Also, James Franco was commissioned by Yahoo! to write a poem about the inauguration. Does this mean he was paid for it? Tell me he wasn’t paid for it!
-The only good thing about James Franco‘s poem? This tweet.
-Meanwhile, Franco says that he took down his Justin Bieber “Boyfriend” spooffrom YouTube because “I don’t think he was too happy” while insisting he didn’t post it “to diss him.”
–Minka Kelly and Mandy Moore dared to go to brunch together without makeup. Gasp!
–Robert Redford made it known that he’s not happy with Paris Hilton‘s presence at Sundance, a statement she remained predictably oblivious to.
-Speaking of Sundance, I’m glad C.O.G (based on the David Sedaris short story and starring Jonathan Groff) is getting good buzz. So is Joseph Gordon-Levitt‘s directorial debut, and Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy‘s Before Midnight.
-Oh dear. Glee star Mark Salling is being sued by a woman who claimed he forced her to have sex with him without a condom. (His camp insists it never happened.)
–Maggie Gyllenhaal is transforming into her Away We Go character before our eyes!
-According to a new report, Sheryl Crowwas in the roomwhen her then-boyfriend Lance Armstrong asked his teammate to cover up his doping.
–Andy Richter will guest star as Penny’s dad on Happy Endings. I don’t think the math on that one makes any sense at all, but I’m willing to ignore it because Andy Richter Controls the Universe was kind of perfect.
-Newly unemployed Joshua Jackson took Diane Krugerto a pub in Vancouverto watch the 49ers/Falcons game.
–Selena Gomezreferenced her split from Justin Bieber, telling concertgoers, “I’ve been through a lot the past few months. It’s been weird and sad and cool.”
-Yet another reason why I’m glad I pre-ordered my Coachella ticket: there’ll be a Postal Service’s reunion!
–Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth were photographed thinking deep thoughts while on vacation in Costa Rica.
-Watch Ellen Page and Alexander Skarsgård play anti-corporate eco-terrorists in the intense trailer for The East.
-I kind of wish Emma Stone was above wearing nothing but a bra on magazine covers. And if she absolutely feels she has to, I kind of wish she’d wear a better bra.
–Skrillex just proved that his stupid haircut isn’t just an eyesore; it’s also a fire hazard.
-Someone has been stalkingsweet lil’ Ellen Page? Leave Ellen alone!!
–Chace Crawford was spotted making out with a blonde girl in a NYC bar. I don’t understand. Wasn’t she freaked out by his lip thing?! It must have been really dark in that bar…
-Speaking of Chase, Gossip Girl just will not die. (Though I think I might already be in love with Mexican Chuck Bass…)
-Meanwhile, things got all kinds of awkward when David Letterman forced Kim Kardashian to talk about the Kris Humphries divorce.
-In a new interview, porn star James Deen very politely confirms reports that Lindsay Lohan was batshit crazy on the set of The Canyons.
-Netflix is already planting Easter eggs on their site in anticipation of Arrested Development. This happens if you search the word “blue.”
-I can’t tell if Idris Elba is actually making this crazy outfit work at the GQ Men of the Year Awards, or if I’m just blinded by my Luther love. Let’s go with the former!
–Here’s a video of P.T. Anderson directing Elliott Smith and Jon Brionin an unaired pilot. (There’s just so much goodness included in that one sentence.)
–Zac Efron just can’t seem to avoid awkward photos with sex props. We’re not complaining.
-Need to restore your faith in sisterhood and humanity in general? Consider it done.
-Comedy Central’s Kroll Show did a Degrassi parody — and it’s kinda perfect.
-Luke Perry is one hot tree. Nope, that’s not slang for anything.
-Was Selena Gomez drunk during this interview at a Golden Globes afterparty? I’ve never liked her more.
–Kris Jenner is railing against tabloids — even though it was tabloids that made her family famous.
-The first international trailer for Spring Breakers has landed. Needs more cornrows.
Scandal Sheet 